Love is a Verb

The commandments, ‘Do not commit adultery,’ ‘Do not murder,’ ‘Do not steal,’ Do not covet,’ and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule:  ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  Love does no harm to its neighbor.  Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.  Romans 13:9-10

From Guest Blogger Dan Thews:

A few years back I thought I’d have some fun with a couple I was performing the wedding ceremony for. During the homily I pulled out a microphone and asked the groom, “What is love?” He just stared at me with this panicked look on his face totally befuddled and suddenly unable to speak! Getting nothing from the Groom, I asked the Bride the same question, “What is love? Her answer was priceless, “Being willing to marry him even though he couldn’t answer that question!”

How would you answer? What is love???

One of my favorite songs is by D.C. Talk, called Love is a Verb. The song reminds us that Biblical love is not something that just happens to you but it is something you do. This is what Paul is talking about in Romans 13:9-10. There is no doubt that love has its romantic and its sentimental aspects, but the love of which St. Paul speaks is a choice to act in a certain way, not necessarily because of romantic, sentimental feelings, but simply because it is the right and God-pleasing thing to do.

Then Paul gives some specific examples. To love, he says, means to refuse acts of adultery because they are unloving by nature. They show total lack of concern for the marriage partner, no respect for the sexual partner, and complete lack of restraint and discipline. He goes on to say the same for murder, stealing, coveting or whatever other laws there may be. Love is a verb. It is active, not just a feeling. Love is evidenced, not in what you feel or in what you say, but in what you do or don’t do.

In fact, Paul says that all the moral laws are satisfied when we act and love our neighbors. He reminds us that love is to be shown, first to God and then to the neighbor; and when that happens there is no need for the law.

How might you show love today — in your family, your workplace, your school, or your neighborhood? Imagine a world where we all remember that love is a verb!

Prayer: Father, thank you for not just saying that You love us, but showing it in your Son Jesus’ life, death and resurrection. Help us make love an active verb in our lives too, in Jesus’ name. Amen.


#Uncommon

Debt

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another…  Romans 13:8

From Guest Blogger Dan Thews:

Two men are walking down a dark alley. Suddenly, robbers jump out from a corner and demand money. Nowhere to go, the two men take out their wallets; one of them says to the other, “Wally, remember that debt I owe you of 200 dollars? Now I give it back to you before these here witnesses. My debt is paid!”

Debt!  Who likes debt??! In the beginning of Romans 13, the apostle Paul speaks of the obligation we have to pay our taxes — like it or not. Now, in verse 8, Paul turns his attention to our private financial concerns and says, “Let no debt remain outstanding.” That probably doesn’t surprise us. We know that as Christians we should meet our commitments as a matter of spiritual and moral obligation. But then, St. Paul does surprise us by adding an instruction concerning the obligation to love, calling it “the continuing debt to love one another.”

Love is a continuing debt for the Christian? Love is a debt that needs to be paid? How does that make any sense? In the world, love is the theme of countless movies, songs and poems. Love is a warm and fuzzy feeling that everyone hopes will somehow come their way — but there is no guarantee. Love seems to reside in people’s minds as something between a noble ideal and a pleasant optional extra. The apostle insists, however, that love is an obligation as real as taxation and personal debt repayment!

In 1 John 4:19 we hear, “We love, because He first loved us.” Think about how much God loves us! Enough to send Jesus to die for our sins. How could we ever repay that debt? We can’t. But we acknowledge that continuing debt by loving one another. If someone wrongs you or hurts you, “forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13). “Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another” (Colossians 3:12-13). In doing so, you reflect the love of God and say “thank you” to our amazing God!

Biblical love is a continuing debt we can never repay. But unlike worldly debt, it is a joy to try!

Prayer: Lord, help us acknowledge the debt of love we owe and use us to love like You love, in Jesus’ name.  Amen.


#Uncommon

Antidote for Evil

Do not repay evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If possible, as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone … Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.  Romans 12:17-21

From Guest Blogger Kathleen Lane:

God’s people don’t fight fire with fire. This is the theme as we come to the end of this week’s Bible selections in Romans 12. “Do not repay evil for evil.” “Overcome evil with good.”

I don’t know about you, but I find these instructions challenging. My natural reaction — whether with my spouse, children, coworkers, or neighbors — when I feel offended, wronged, or attacked, I want to attack back. When I get hurt, I want to hurt that person back. Yet God clearly calls us to a different standard:  “Love your enemies,” Jesus said (Matthew 5:44). “Overcome evil with good.”

These concepts aren’t just hard; they are flat out impossible — at least in our human nature! Putting up a fight and getting even seem to fit better with our human pride and our sense of justice. An eye for an eye. Fight fire with fire. Revenge. That is our common response to evil.

So where are we to draw the strength necessary for the uncommon response of overcoming evil with good? We have the example and the enabling power of Christ. Even as He was being nailed to the cross, He prayed for His executioners, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).

Then, too, we know that our just and holy God is in charge even when evil people do evil things. God does not call us to set everything right with the world. Instead He tells us that all will eventually work out according to His justice. God will judge after His mercies have had opportunity to do their work.

God uses us to put His mercy and love to work in our evil world. His antidote for evil is love. He calls and empowers us for dispensing His antidote in our world.

Think of a conflict you have with someone.  How can you bring peace to the situation?  Where might God be calling you to share His antidote for evil?

Prayer: Father, instead of trampling evil doers with revenge, help me to lift them into Your presence by showing love. Amen.


#Uncommon

The Real Thing

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.  Romans 12:9

From Guest Blogger Kathleen Lane:

Is it real?  Or is it fake?  Is it authentic?  Or is it counterfeit? These are important questions when shopping. We wouldn’t want to get scammed into spending thousands of dollars on a fake diamond ring. Whether we’re buying jewels, designer clothes, art, or our favorite NFL jersey … we are putting out big money, and we want to be sure that we are getting the real thing.

Authenticity is important as we make decisions about spending money. Authenticity is also important when it comes to love.

Romans 12:9 tells us “Love must be sincere.” In other words, love is to be real and honest. What is the difference between real love and fake love? First,  it has to do with the source of love and its motivation. “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God … God is love.” (1 John 4:7ff) Real love comes from God. God’s love has no reason. It just is,  because that is the way God is. God loves us unconditionally; and He calls us to love in the same “no strings attached,” uncommon  way.

Fake love has some ulterior or selfish motivation. We pretend to love because we think there is something to be gained for ourselves. Fake love says, “I love you if …” or “I love you because …” or “I’ll love you when you …”

The other  difference between real love and fake love is actions. Real  love demonstrates itself by doing, by actively and sacrificially helping others. The apostle John expressed it this way: “Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth” (1 John 3:18). God’s love for us is active as He provides for, protects, and empowers us.  His love is shown best in sacrificing the very life of His Son so that we could be redeemed to belong to Him forever. His very real love is what is at work in us, transforming us to be real in loving others.

How have you experienced the real love of God? How has your love for others been real and active? As you’re motivated by God’s sincere love for you, what needs to change? What specific things can you do to better reflect that love for others?

Prayer: Lord, let Your sincere love be at work in my heart.  Lead me in reflecting that real love to others. Amen.


#Uncommon

God v. Wisdom

"Since you refuse to listen when I call ... since you diregard all my advice ... I in turn will laugh when disaster strikes you; I will mock when calamity overtakes you."  Proverbs 1:24-26

I know that God is different. My faith believes what He says in Isaiah 55 — "My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." But that really hit me today in a Bible study on Proverbs.

According to Proverbs, Wisdom (personified as a woman who calls out in the public square to teach anyone who would listen) is unforgiving — a sort of cold, cause-effect realist. Wisdom points to the reality of how the world works:  "Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth" (Proverbs 10:4); "A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself" (Proverbs 11:17). There's nothing particularly religious or spiritual about that — it's just how the world works. Consider a few professional athletes who are arrogant and selfish ... and how they pile trouble on themselves and invite the disdain of teammates and fans. (Contrast them with the great team players, who work and play with humility and a teachable spirit.) In countless ways we all pile up trouble in our lives by foolishness. We have family members, coworkers, and neighbors who seem to be magnets for trouble ... because of the choices they've made.

Wisdom points to those who live foolishly, who have chosen to pile up trouble, and says:  "If you had responded to my rebuke, I would have poured out my heart to you and made my thoughts known to you. But since you rejected me when I called ... I in turn will laugh at your disaster; I will mock when calamity overtakes you — when calamity overtakes you like a storm, when distress and trouble overwhelm you" (Proverbs 1:23-27).

In contrast to Wisdom, God does not abandon us to the mess we've made. Like the father in Jesus' parable of the prodigal son, God is full of compassion and always ready to welcome. In fact, God's entire plan of redemption in Jesus Christ shows that God's way is fundamentally different. As one of my favorite verses reminds us:  "God demonstrates His love for us in this: while we were still sinners Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). He entered our mess. He willingly, lovingly pursued us. And not because we had figured it all out and straightened ourselves out. "While we were still sinners"!  While Wisdom is unforgiving, God is full of mercy.

What really stood out to me today is this:  If God is willing to step into our junk ... what should our Christian response be to our children, friends, neighbors, and coworkers, when they have brought all kinds of trouble on themselves? Turn away, saying: "You brought this on yourself. You have to face the consequences"? No!

No doubt, it would be unloving to enable someone in their foolish ways. And according to the ways of Wisdom, we'd be justified in abandoning them to their mess. But I am convinced that the Godly life is marked by a willingness to enter another person's hurt — even the hurt they've piled on themselves — with compassion. We usually can't take away the earthly consequences for them. But we CAN walk with them and say: "I am here with you. I am here for you. I will not abandon you." This is the way of God, who says, "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you."

What does Godly compassion look like for you these days?

Getting Dirty

I really don't think it's easy to get dirty.

My kids might disagree.  Like all kids, they attract dirt like a magnet.  They love getting dirty.  Even  our daughter, Elise.  She can be a total princess.  But she can also dig in the dirt, chase after toads, and get into mega-messes like all the boys.  Ask any of the kids, and they'll tell you:  It ain't hard to get dirty!  And it's a whole lotta fun!

But then that's not the kind of "dirty" I'm talking about -- the dirt, slime, grease, muck kinds of dirty.  I'm talking about getting down into the messiness of other people's lives.  That's not easy.  In fact, most of us avoid it at every cost.  It's really not easy to talk to someone who just lost his job and who's nearly in tears wondering how he's going to provide for his family.  It's really not easy to sit and listen and encourage the young mom whose baby is dying.  It's really not easy letting a coworker cry on your shoulder because she just learned her husband was cheating on her ... or to care for the couple who are grieving because their grandson was just put in jail.

Our first tendency is either to AVOID ... or to FIX.  I once talked to a mom whose 20-year-old daughter, serving as a missionary in Africa, was killed in a car accident half a world away.  A couple months after the accident, I asked her to tell me how she was feeling.  She told me:  one of the hardest things to deal with was friends -- even church friends -- who avoided talking to her.  She said:  "They don't know what to say to me, I think.  They're afraid of saying the wrong thing.  So they don't say anything.  What they don't realize is that it hurts more to say nothing than to say something wrong or stupid."  This was a mom who just needed someone else to STEP INTO HER WORLD ... and HURT WITH HER.

I've also seen people walk up to give someone a hug.  And their first impulse is to pat this person who's grieving on the back and say:  "It's okay.  Don't cry."  We avoid or we fix.  But sometimes, more than anything, we JUST NEED TO GET DIRTY.  Get into the mess of it all.  Cry with them.  Hurt with them.  Suffer ... with them.

This is where I am struck by the spirit of Jesus, true Son of God ... who left the comfort of heaven ... to dwell in the darkness and cold and among those who were suffering and fearful and alone and outcast.  INCARNATION.  That's what we call it -- the Son of God taking on human flesh.  "Incarnation."  "In the flesh."  And IN THE FLESH Jesus Christ had COMPASSION on the brokenhearted.

That's one of my all-time favorite words:  COMPASSION.  That English word is a combination of two ideas from the Latin:  com (= with) ... and passion (= to suffer).  Literally, to SUFFER WITH someone.  In the Greek (the language of the New Testament) the word is splanchna (with a real gutteral, sorta German-esque 'chk.'  Splanchna is technically your guts, bowels, the inner part of your core.  The idea being that if you have "compassion" for someone, you are literally HURTING WITH THEM IN YOUR GUT.  Your gut hurts along with theirs!  Compassion.

Often we avoid hurting with someone ... because ...... well, duh! ... IT HURTS!!  You have to feel their pain.  And most of us avoid pain.  So whether consciously or subconsciously ... TOO OFTEN, WE LEAVE HURTING PEOPLE ON THEIR OWN ... rather than getting dirty.  Because getting dirty is hard.  It requires letting go of our desire to fix it all.  In fact, it requires that we surrender to the reality that we CAN'T fix it all.

Instead, Jesus calls us to imitate Him -- to stoop down into the muckiness, the hurtfulness, the uncertainty of others' lives ... and bringing love, encouragement, understanding, sympathy ... and most importantly, BEING CHRIST FOR THEM -- bringing the gentle, compassionate presence of Jesus with you.  We are not Jesus.  But we embody Him for others ... when we stoop down ... and get dirty.

So what do you think??  How have you seen this played out in your life?  Either on the giving end or the receiving end.  How have you seen Christ at work through the compassion of people?

Daddy Time

My youngest, Blake, and I had a little extra daddy time today. It wasn't supposed to be that way.  He was supposed to be participating in Vacation Bible School.  But he really hates being left in Sunday School or the nursery ... or anywhere else without mom and dad.  So -- no surprise -- he and VBS didn't mix well this week.  So ...... I took some extra time away from work to be with my little guy this morning.  (Thank God for a flexible schedule!)  What a great treat!  For me and for him.  We spent most of the time driving and shopping -- some things I needed to get done.  But it was one-on-one "daddy time."

I'm pretty sure I need to do this more often ... with all four of the kids.  Have one-on-one time, I mean.  I think I do a pretty good job of balancing home life and work life.  I'm by no means perfect.  And I have times of imbalance for short periods.  But I think I do okay.  But one-on-one doesn't happen often enough.

Why one-on-one??  I can easily point to three times when I've spent time with each of our three older kids.  A Colts game with Evan, a special "date" with Elise, a baseball game with Bryce.  And every one of those stands out as a VIVID memory ... for me, and more importantly, for THEM.  Two years later, Bryce is still talking about "the baseball game" -- buying a bag of peanuts ... in the shells! ... and catching a ball thrown into the crowd by one of the players.  That night is emblazened in his memory!  I think this is why:  the fact that I took time to commit to HIM (undistracted by siblings, work, etc.) communicated to him that his dad loves and adores him.  I am convinced every child wants and NEEDS to hear that message.

I often lean into Blake's ear when he's sitting on my lap and say:  "Guess what?!"  "What," he says.  "You are my most favoritest 3-year-old on the planet." Then he gets a giant grin and hugs me hard enough to squeeze my head off.  I think kids need to have that reassurance that NOTHING is more important than they are!

I'm pretty sure that's part of living the godly life -- making the most of my calling as a dad by making sure my kids see God in me.  After all, isn't this God's message:  there is not a thing in the universe as important as YOU.  If you were the only one, I would still have given Jesus for you.  YOU are precious to God.  I want my kids to know that truth more than anything else.  So ... I let them see just a tiny glimpse of God's love in me.

Dads, moms:  let your children see God in YOU.  It is for THAT PURPOSE that God gave you children!